Tuesday , 19 June 2018
Home >> C >> Communications >> Porn firm introduces genital logins, calls it Dickometrics

Porn firm introduces genital logins, calls it Dickometrics

GOOD NEWS FOR THAT TYPE OF CHAP that likes to upload photos of his wang to the internet, there is an online bongo site that is offering you access to top shelf content with your genitals.

Yup. The finger, face, thumb or password isn’t quite right for this site, it wants a wang shot, and expects you as a chap to upload yours so that it can use it to judge you when you come back to visit. 

You know whatever, it’s a large world out there and what people do in their spare time really isn’t our business. We can think of more elegant ways to login to websites, but we are not CamSoda and we have not just launched Dickometrics.

CamSoda seems to be some kind of thing where women in boxes loll around in front of webcams being saucy, so we can see why the firm thinks that its visitors might have their wang close to hand when they come visiting and may not begrudge the opportunity to show it off, albeit if it is only to their webcam.

Sadly, going by the images that we have at our disposal, if your penis is not recognised, perhaps you might have just got out of a swimming pool, or you are just tired and stressed, as you will be presented with a note that says “Penis Denied”. Those are the sort of statements that can stay with a gentleman.

We suggest that if you are going to use this, please don’t give us any details and create a uniform look for your wang that you can remember, but that other people will not be able to replicate. You might want to consider having a different wang pose for each bongo site you visit, if this is going to become a thing.  

The CamSoda option uses software called Penis Recognition Technology, or PRT, and someone has apparently trademarked this. That makes sense because it has been around for a while and was probably what was used when Chatroulette drove all the wang cowboys out of its webcam town.

There is comment from the firm, but we couldn’t see it on its news page and blog. We did see a lot of nudity though, some of which we may never unsee.

Here is some of that comment that is in the wild: “In order to ensure personal data is safeguarded against unwarranted individuals, biometrics have become progressively popular for its ability to provide a layer of security that is impenetrable. With the launch of dick-ometrics, we are taking things to the next level.” says VP Darren Press.

“Like a fingerprint and an eyeball, which are two of most commonly used body parts in biometric technologies, the penis has many, many differentiating factors like size, color and vein protrusion. However, unlike fingerprints and eyeballs, penises are not exposed to the public a lot of the time and mostly kept under clothing and shared with loved ones —presumably who are trusted.”

Yeah, most of the time eh, Darren. µ

<!–

–>

  • <!–

  • Save this article

  • –>

close
==[ Click Here 1X ] [ Close ]==